10 Office-Jargon Classics You Will Hear Almost Daily

 

1.     “Blue sky thinking” – not only does this not make sense, it’s also extremely annoying. What is blue sky thinking? Are you a blue sky thinker? Is the sky even blue?! I don’t know anymore!

2.     “At the end of the day” – formerly used only by football team managers, somehow this has become an office staple. But not a literal staple – because staples are useful, this irritating phrase is not.

3.     “Journey” – do you ACTUALLY take your customer on a journey? No. You do not. Whilst the fictional customer on their fictional journey is seemingly having a great time, back in the real world you actually have to do your job. Journey-free.

4.     “Thought shower” – the PC equivalent of “brainstorm”. Oops, did I just say, “brainstorm”? I meant “thought shower”.

5.     “So” – not so much jargon, but the word “so” is nevertheless a complete waste of everybody’s time. It’s used in place of, “I’m very important and you must listen as I set the new agenda which is going to change your life.”

6.     “Yield” – you don’t “yield” results. Unless you’re a farmer. And by “results”, you mean, “potatoes”. In which case this is acceptable.

7.     “Annual leave” – HOLIDAY. YOU ARE GOING ON HOLIDAY.

8.     “110%” – are you a contestant on the Apprentice? No? Then all this phrase is doing is exposing your poor mathematical ability.

9.     “Thinking outside the box”  - a bed-fellow of “blue sky thinking”, here the “blue sky” is replaced with a box. Except the box is not good enough, you have to leave the confines of the box and enter unfamiliar territory. Scary stuff.

10. “Touching base” – another sports metaphor, courtesy of our American cousins, this awful expression has replaced the less sporty, less American and, arguably, less sexy “let’s have a meeting”.